milsaeditor

A week before Israel’s first municipal elections, בחירות, the government lowered food prices.  While standing in line at a butcher shop, a customer remarked: “The meat this week is like בהמת קודש.  It comes from בית הבחירה.”

Why don't we have the אושפיזין on פסח?  They don't trust the כשרות.

A רב once noted that, based upon his many years of experience, he could give a דרשה and repeat a story twice a year without it being recalled by most people; he could repeat a joke twice every six months; and he could repeat a דבר תורה twice in 20 minutes without anyone noticing.

When the wife of רבי עקיבא אייגר bought him a large, thick סידור, he sighed and said: “אוי לנו that this is how it is in our days.  The סידור expands, while the שולחן ערוך shrinks.”

Yankel Miller, the בדחן, upon his return to New York from a trip to Israel, told an אדמו״ר that he visited צפת and had the privilege to touch the כיסא אליהו.  The אדמו״ר asked “With which hand?”  “The right one,” Yankel answered.  The אדמו״ר took the hand and kissed it.  Yankel smiled and said “I

What’s the difference between Donald Trump and leftist Jews?  Trump’s grandchildren are Jewish.

An old woman said to an even older man at the nursing home, “I can guess your age.” The man didn't believe her, but told her to go ahead and try. “Take off your hat” she said. She inspected his head for a few minutes and then said, “You’re 84 years old.”  “That’s amazing,” the

An עם-הארץ was once asked why it is that we bury the dead on the day of death.  He responded:  "It's a פסוק מפורש in the תפילה of שחרית.  It says: תצא רוחו ישוב לאדמתו ביום ההוא."

A רב of a קהילה whoe בעלי בתים made his life very difficult, explained that members of the חברה קדישה are called גומלי חסד של אמת, rather than merely גומלי חסד, because there are actually people who bury others while they are yet alive.  That, however, is not קבורה אמיתית.  But the people of the

The dentist told Barbara that she needed to have a tooth removed.  “Do you want a local anesthetic?” he asked.  “Let’s not pinch pennies,” she replied.  “Get the best. Use imported.”