When Chaim walked into the office, he knew something was up. There was a message on his desk that the boss wanted to see him as soon as he arrived. The boss didn’t look very happy when Chaim reported to his office. He said nothing – just pointed at the newspaper on his desk. It
R’ חיים of Brisk once commented to a מתפלל whose loud davening was disturbing the קהל that the תורה commanded that bells be placed on the מעיל of the כהן גדול so that when he is in the Holy of Holies it will be know that he is alive. But if his תפילה in the
When רב ברוך מרדכי was asked what is the source for the saying that a חזן is a שוטה, he replied: "We know that if a person appoints a שליח פיקח, the שליח is חייב. If he appoints a שליח who is a חרש, שוטה וקטן, the שולח is חייב. The גמרא, referring to a
The רב of Slonim, רב איזיל חריף, once heard that a certain שוחט is עובר עבירות בפרהסיה. He had the שוחט brought before him and told him he could no longer slaughter בהמות, only chickens. "Why דוקא בהמות?" the שוחט asked. רב איזיל answered: "The גמרא tells us that the חוטא is compared to a
Devorah went out of town for her friend's wedding. Her husband telephoned her and asked what setting he should use on the washing machine to launder his sweatshirt. "It depends on the fabric," she told him, "What does it say on the sweatshirt?" To which he answered: "Harvard University."
WHEN A FLY FALLS INTO A CUP OF COFFEE... The Italian: throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage. The German: carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee. The Frenchman: takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee. The Chinese: eats the fly and
Before the start of the meal at a Bar Mitzvah reception, the guests were seated at the tables while the Bar Mitzvah boy was making a סיום on a מסכתה that he had learned. Some of the guests began taking and eating food that was in the center of the tables and didn’t pay any
At the פסח סדר, an עם הארץ began beating on his chest and saying על חטא. The people around the table of course asked him why he was saying על חטא. Pointing to a יום כיפור מחזור lying on the table in front of him, he said: "It explicitly says ואומרים על חטא על הסדר."
When רבי נפתלי מרופשיץ came home after delivering his שבת הגדול דרשה, his wife remarked that he looked troubled. "Yes," he replied, "It's difficult to open the hearts of the גבירים to give מעות חטים בעין יפה. But I'm halfway there. The rich aren't fully committed to giving, but the poor have all agreed to
When the head of the Jewish Agency was asked about the prospects for Aliyah from European countries, he said: “I think most Jews have concluded that the time has come to buy suitcases, but that they have plenty of time to pack them.”
