The bartender was surprised when a man sat down by himself and ordered five glasses of wine. He drank them down one after another and then ordered four more. The man drank them all and surprised the bartender by asking for three more. When he finished those, he asked for two and finally for one.
A child saw the bulletin of the Synagogue announcing that the congregation had just hired a new rabbi, by the name of Rabbi Dr. Epstein. The child was so excited that the new rabbi is also a doctor, that the next time he had a stomach ache, he called the Synagogue. "I would like to
Two philosophers entered a building and the receptionist greeted them with a “good morning.” One of the philosophers asked the other: “Do you know what she was trying to say when she said “good morning?”
An אפיקורוס, seeking to mock a תלמיד חכם, asked: "In פרשת בלק it says that the donkey of בלעם spoke in לשון בני אדם. Do you really believe that's possible?" The תלמיד חכם responded: "Sure. If a person like you can speak in לשון חמורים, why shouldn't a חמור be able to speak בלשון בני
When ר׳ יהונתן איבשיץ was a youth, he went to the Royal Palace, where he passed the chapel containing a large פסל. One of the guides said to him that he had heard about his wisdom and requested that he say a few words in honor of the פסל. The young יהונתן did not hesitate.
When a new Reform temple was built in Germany, רבי שמשון רפאל הירש was invited for a tour. As he was leaving, he was asked for his thoughts. "This building," he said, "is like תיבת נח, which was מבית ומחוץ בכופר. This place too is מלא כפירה מבפנים ומבחוץ."
A פריץ came to the מגיד of קוזניץ, asking for a ברכה. “I’ve been married for many years and haven’t had a son. I would like to have a blessing from you,” he said. Not wanting to refuse him, the מגיד lifted his eyes to Heaven and said: “ריבונו של עולם, בעולמך יש גויים רבים
Just as Christian rulers did in the Middle Ages, an Arab ruler ordered that a debate be held between a Muslim and a Jew as to which is the older religion. The Muslim representative appeared in his finest clothes. The Jew appeared in his everyday clothes and as he entered the palace removed his shoes
A priest boasted to ר׳ יהונתן איבשיץ that his lord was born without a father. ר׳ יהונתן responded: “אלוקי ישראל was born without a father or a mother.”
The old רב was learning, his long white beard resting on his chest. Slowly, his eyes began to close, until he seemed to be fast asleep. Nearby, when his students saw his eyes close, one whispered to the other: “What צדקות, what brilliance.” Another student said: “He’s a great תלמיד חכם. And a great בעל
