A בחור had rejected many offers of a שידוך. This one is too short; that one is not pretty; and the other one lacks money. No one was good enough for him. Finally, a שדכן proposed to him a girl who had everything: looks, money, יחוס, and all the other qualities. The בחור was excited.
A חסיד proudly told his רבי that he thinks his young son is destined to be a גדול הדור. When the רבי asked him why he thinks so, the חסיד explained that when the child plays with blocks, he places one under his arm and one on his forehead, like תפילין. “Doesn’t that demonstrate his
The town's שוחט told the רב that he was quitting his job. "Why?" the רב asked. "I was reading ספר הקנה," the שוחט said, "and particularly the chapters of who is worthy to be a שוחט and the חומרות that must be observed, and I don't think I'm qualified to continue serving as a שוחט."
At a שבת meal, a father saw that his son was eating fish with his hands. “Son,” he said, “Why are you eating with your hands? It’s not nice. Use a fork.” The young boy replied: “Dad, I’m checking for bones. Besides, in פרשת נח the תורה expressly says: ובכל דגי הים בידכם נתנו.”
On מוצאי שבת, one עם הארץ said to another: “I’m hungry, but I haven’t heard הבדלה yet, can I eat?” “No,” his friend answered. "It בפירוש says: המבדיל בין קודש לאכול.”
A רב observed that people who need something from government officials are often sent away and told that there are additional forms they need to complete or additional documents they need to supply and a response keeps getting delayed for weeks, months or even years. Therefore, when we want something from the רבונו של עולם,
When a תלמיד חכם with a sense of humor was asked why על פי התורה are women exempt from military service, he answered: “The תורה says מבן עשרים שנה ומעלה כל יוצאי צבא בישראל. This is clear as far as men are concerned. But with women, you never know their true age and they remain
A חזן was praying מוסף of יום טוב. As he got to ומפני חטאינו, and raised his voice as he said ואין אנחנו יכולים, one of the מתפללים remarked: "In מסכת יומה it states: מכסה פשעיו לא יצליח. Elsewhere, it states: אשרי נשוי פשע כסוי חטאה. Thus, one פסוק says that sins can be concealed
Sarah brought a very stiff parrot into a veterinary center and said to Simon, the vet, “My Minky doesn’t seem to be very well. I hope you can help him.” The vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. Shaking his head, he said “I’m sorry, but Minky has passed away.” Sarah,
After reaching his 108th birthday, Meir stopped coming to Shul. The רב and other מתפללים went to his home to check up on him and found him to be in good health. “We’ve missed you,” they said. “Why haven’t you been coming to Shul?” Quietly, Meir told them: “I never expected to live and enjoy
