בבא בתרא קלח
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women say each day: 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife responded "That's because women have to repeat everything to men." The husband turned to the wife and asked: "What?"
בבא בתרא קלז
A man frequenting a bar at night would routinely throw glass cups at the bartender and at the people sitting around and drinking. Yet, he always made sure to follow up his violence by pleading for forgiveness. “I suffer from uncontrollable rage and I am deeply ashamed of it; please forgive me for my embarrassing
בבא בתרא קלו
The Yammer Rav was once approached by the owner of a warehouse who told him that he was planning on making a בוראי מאורי האש on his building to collect the insurance. “But,” the man asked, “there are מזוזות on the doors and I know that it’s אסור to remove them and it’s אסור to
בבא בתרא קלה
Two friends who had not seen each other for a few years met one morning and reminisced about places they had visited together. One then said, “You look sad. Is everything alright?” “No,” he replied. “Only a few weeks ago I had the sorrow of burying my wife.” “What?” exclaimed the first, “I was at
בבא בתרא קלד
A רב complained to רבי עקיבא איגר that the members of his קהילה were making his life unbearable. רבי עקיבא איגר told him: "The members of your קהילה are עמי-ארצים. And so they hate רבנים and תלמידי חכמים. In the past, every עם-הערץ would pay a נדוניה to buy a חתן תלמיד חכם whom he
בבא בתרא קלג
A man asked his friend: "I know that you're going through hard times financially, but do you at least have נחת from your children?" The friend responded that he indeed had נחת from his children. "כולם אהובים, כולם ברורים, כולם גיבורים, וכולם עושים רצוני. The only problem is that כולם גם פותחים את פיהם."
בבא בתרא קלב
Abe went to a department store, walked over to the perfume department and said to the saleswoman: “Today is my wife’s birthday. I’d like to buy her a nice bottle of French perfume.” “That will be a nice surprise for her,” the woman responded. “It sure will,” Abe agreed. “She’s expecting a diamond necklace.”
בבא בתרא קלא
A man went to a psychologist and complained that he talks to himself. “Don’t worry,” the psychologist said. “Many people talk to themselves.” “But Doctor,” the man replied, “you don’t known what a nudnik I am.”
בבא בתרא קל
The Vilna Gaon and רבי זלמן of Volozhin, his תלמיד מובהק, were learning together late one night, when רבי זלמן dozed off. The גר״א rose from his seat and gently placed his hands around his student's head to guide it to the table. Just then, the door to the בית מדרש opened and a man
בבא בתרא קכט
A critically ill patient asked the doctor if he received the results of the tests. When the doctor said yes, he asked how much longer he has to live. “Ten,” the doctor replied. “Ten what? Weeks or months?” the patient asked. Without a pause, the doctor said: “Nine, eight, seven...”