An expert in punctuation, משה אהרן ויזן, was asked by a בחור ישיבה: “I was taught that נקודות סגול are deemed superior to נקודות קמץ, just as זהב is superior to כסף. How can this be correct in light of the fact that the word זהב is punctuated with two קמצים and כסף is punctuated
The Greeks were very focused on looks, physical beauty, sports, exercise and fashion. We eat latkes and donuts on Chanukah to make sure we don’t look like them.
Yossi and Leah went on around the world cruise one winter. The next year, Leah said she wants to go somewhere else this year. Yossi responded: “The kitchen?”
One evening, after a bitter marital spat, the wife heard her husband sigh, “Oh, if only women would be as understanding as men, life would be truly wonderful.” Angry, she prepared a tough old rooster, with meat as tough as leather, as dinner for her husband. The husband managed to eat the meal without complaining,
The חוזה of Lublin would customarily refer to himself in the plural - the royal “we.” Once, when he said “מיר זיינען גארנישט,” “We are nothing,” ר׳ מרדכי רקובר asked him: “Does the רבי need a partner even when dealing with nothing?”
When רבי אייזל חריף was once asked: "רבי, why is it that your earlier ספרים are sharper than your later ספרים? The גמרא says the opposite: חכמה מתוספת בהם תלמידי חכמים, כל זמן שמזקינים." He promptly responded that the questioner omitted the end clause: עמי הארץ כל זמן שמזקינים טיפשות נתוספת בהם. "Therefore, since you've
In commanding that each person give מחצית השקל, the תורה says העשיר לא ירבה. A רב once asked why didn't the תורה say the same regarding צדקה? Rather than the רבנן saying המבזבז אל יבזבז יותר מחומש, the תורה could have said it. He answered that the תורה was concerned that the wealthy will give
What kind of cake, cookies and crackers did נח have on the תיבה? Mabul cake, rainbow cookies and animal crackers.
A man observed to a רב that it seems that חילוניים who are עובר practically all the עבירות are often מקיים the מצוה of צדקה. "Yes," the רב agreed, "It's a מקרא מפורש. It says זה יתנו - כל העובר על הפקודים."
A rabbi was hired by Duracell. His job is to stand in the production line and, as the batteries go by, say “I wish you a long life.”
