Shimon and Leah were an elderly couple who had retired to Miami Beach. One morning, as Shimon was heading out the door, Leah asked him if he could get her ice cream. “Sure, what would you like?” he responded. “A chocolate cone,” she said. “But please write it down, so you don’t forget.” “I won’t
Years ago, in Soviet Russia, a man went to buy a new car. He picked out the model, the color and other options and asked the dealer when it would be ready. The dealer checked and said “We can have it delivered to you in three years, two months and four days.” “Will that be
After being מסדר קידושין at the wedding of a כהן, the חתן was blessed by רב שמחה מאיר דווינסק, who among other things said: "ה' יתן ויקויים בך הכתוב: וקמץ ממנו הכהן." The wedding guests were surprised to hear this strange ברכה and asked what it meant. The רב explained: The גמרא in ברכות says
The תורה directs that the oil for a poor מצורע be brought על מקום דם האשם. The oil for a wealthy מצורע, however, is offered על דם האשם. When asked to explain the reason for the difference, a poor תלמיד חכם explained that it was because of people like him. While the הלכה is that
Berel complained to the doctor that he’s suffering from a terrible illness. “I speak to myself,” he complained. “So, what’s so terrible with that?” the doctor asked, “There are times I speak to myself as well.” Nodding, Berel responded; “Yes, doctor, but you don't know what a nudnik I am."
Why was the snake punished by losing its legs and being required to crawl on its belly? Because לשקר אין רגליים.
The Reform temple bulletin board announced that the rabbi's Saturday sermon would discuss "The Ten Suggestions."
Every day at lunch time, Yankel opened his lunch box and uttered the same complaint: "Oh no, not a peanut butter sandwich again!” One day, after several years, his co-worker finally lost his patience. "Why don't you ask your wife to make you something different, for heaven’s sake?" he asked. "That won't help", Yankel replied,
An עשיר who had a reputation of being a קמצן and refusing to extend a helping hand, felt chest pains and had his wife take him to the doctor. The doctor took the man's hand to measure his pulse. "Doctor," the wife said, "he complains about his heart, not his hand." "I know," the doctor
When רבי אייזל חריף was asked why the wealthy are more ready to assist an עני who is a בעל מום than to assist an עני who is a תלמיד חכם, he answered: "It's because every עשיר can be concerned that he might one day become an עני בעל מום. But he isn't concerned that
