A תלמיד חכם and a boor were sitting in the third class cabin of a train. The תלמיד חכם was looking into his גמרא, when the boor mockingly said to him: "If you're such a great תלמיד חכם, why aren't you sitting in first class?" The תלמיד חכם responded: "There are different levels of תלמידי
What do a חסיד standing before his רבי and a defendant standing before a Judge have in common? They both seek a kvittal.
When a חסיד heard his רבי praising another רבי as a גדול, the חסיד said: “But רבי, he has said some less flattering things about you.” “So,” said the רבי, “Perhaps we’re both wrong!”
When a police officer pulled over a car speeding at 160 kilometer per hour on the highway from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem and came face to face with the driver, he said: "Moshe Dayan! You were flying! You're supposed to set a good example. I should give you multiple tickets." Dayan responded: "Officer, I have
Men sitting at a meal were discussing business, when one of them mentioned a colleague who was severely depressed and wasn’t acting rationally. “Is he at least paying his debts?” asked one of the men. “No,” responded another. “He’s not that insane!”
The חזן complained to the Rabbi of the shul that he was insulted by one of the מתפללים, who criticized his davening. Seeking to comfort him, the Rabbi assured him that the congregant does not know what he's talking about. "He's just repeating what the rest of the קהל says."
The Gerrer Rebbi was once asked by a חסיד: “There are there so many things in the מחזור that we don’t say. Why don’t we just print a new מחזור that only contains what we do say? The רבי responded: “And take away the שמחה which a Yid has when he skips a page in
In an elementary school math class, the teacher asked a student: "If I borrowed a $100 from your father and paid him back $30, how much do I owe him?" The student answered with a question of his own: "Did you get a receipt?" "No," the teacher said. "Well, then you owe him a $100."
The Personals column in the newspaper ran an ad saying “Wife wanted.” 1,200 people responded “Take mine.”
While cleaning the attic, Joan and Harry found an old stub for some shoes they left at the repair shop 10 years ago. They thought it would be fun to go to the shop and see if the shoes were still there. So they did. They handed the stub to the repair man who took
