Recollecting the good old days, a man said to his friend: “There was a time when I would go into a store with only $10 in my pocket and I would leave with whatever I wanted.” His friend nodded and asked “What about these days?” The man answered: “These days the stores have cameras.”
Money can't buy you love. But it puts you in a great bargaining position.
A 93-year-old woman approached her Rabbi and asked him to teach her Hebrew. “Mrs. Goldstein, at your age, why do you want to learn Hebrew?” he asked. “I don’t know how much longer I have,” she said “and if I go to גן עדן, where people speak Hebrew, I want to be able to understand
A visitor to town said he was a חיוב and was therefore permitted to serve as the בעל תפילה. It was a disaster. The man had the most horrible voice and obviously didn’t know עברה. When the גבאי went up to tell him to step down, the man refused to budge. Two men who came
A רב was once asked, "We pray ומעביר אשמותינו. How do we know whether the תפילה is effective and it's not a ברכה לבטלה? Perhaps we're not forgiven." The רב replied: "This is similar to a child who sees his friend with a box of candies asks for one. When he is turned down, what
On a trip to Warsaw, רבי עקיבא איגר visited the “בית המדרש לרבנים.” After testing the men learning there and concluding that they didn’t know ש״ס or הלכה, he said: “Those learning here merit the title ערב רב, not רב.”
A חסידיק רב was asked to explain the difference between a צדיק and a רשע. He said: “Both a צדיק and a רשע sin. But the צדיק, as long as he is living knows he sins; the רשע, as long as he sins he knows he’s living.”
Rivka came home one day looking very upset. “What’s wrong?” her mother asked. “I don’t know what to do. Michael asked me to marry him, but I’m concerned that he’s not frum enough. He doesn’t believe in גיהינום,” Rivka replied. “Don’t worry,” her mother said. “After you get married, we’ll show him how wrong he
A fire broke out in a factory one night and all the merchandise went up in smoke. The rumors in town were that it was arson, with the owner suspected of having set the fire himself in order to collect the insurance and thereby pay off the many חשבונות that he had outstanding. One חכם
A man was walking on the street and fell into a pit. He screamed for help and Donald Trump was passing by. Trump said: “I’ll get you out if you promise to vote for me.” The man replied: “I fell on my back, not on my head.”
