One יום כיפור, one of the מתפללים wasn’t feeling well and disappeared for an hour in the middle of מוסף. When he returned and was flipping through the מחזור looking for something, the man next to him said: “Don’t trouble yourself looking, you won’t find ברכת המזון in the יום כיפור מחזור.”
“Doctor, I need your help,” the patient said. “Every night for the past two weeks I’ve been dreaming about rats playing football. It’s frightening.” The doctor handed him some pills and instructed him to take two pills at night before going to bed. “Can I start taking them tomorrow?” the patient asked. “Why?” the doctor
A troop of חילוני Israeli soldiers were debating whether the ברכה on watermelon is shehakol or adamah. One of the soldiers resolved the issue by citing his grandfather, who always told him to say shehakol whenever he came to visit him. “I say it all the time,” he said. Soon thereafter, an enemy tank approached,
A visitor who had come to speak with the author David Frischman, babbled on and on and was preventing Frischman from doing his work. Frischman didn’t know how to get rid of him. Finally, he said: “In my opinion, words are just a way of covering up lies that one has in his heart. For
It was observed by רבי ישראל מסלנט: "I have often seen people standing at the entrance to the בית כנסת calling out to passersby מנין, מנין or קדושה, קדושה. But somehow, I've never seen people standing at the entrance to their homes calling out to passerbys סעודה, סעודה."
A Gypsy stood in the middle of the town square playing his flute. Beside him was an overturned pot on which a goose was happily dancing to the music. People gathered round and dropped coins into the Gypsy’s hat. After the performance, a wealthy man approached the Gypsy and asked to buy the goose. After
R’ מאיר מפרימשלאן was collecting money for פדיון שבויים. He went to the home of a wealthy but miserly man, who tried to excuse himself by saying that he was rushing to a שיעור תורה and immediately headed for the door. The רב said to him: “The תורה teaches ואת החזיר כי מפריס פרסה הוא
After suffering terrible pain from gallstones in his כיס המרה, a למדן was taken to the hospital, where the surgeon removed two stones. The למדן commented: "הנה קיימתי את הכתוב: לא יהיה לך בכיסך אבן ואבן."
A רב של פורים gave a דרשה about קריעת ים סוף and said the following: “Our חכמים tell us that the רבונו של עולם is מקמץ בנסים. If so, why did He split the sea? He could have frozen it and the Jews could have walked over the ice. The answer is that they would
An Orthodox Jew was offered a job and was told that, although he had impressive qualifications, because of the weakness in the economy he would be paid $45,000 per year. He responded: “I’m Orthodox and I keep kosher, but I still need to bring home the bacon.”
