Two אבלים in Brisk were constantly arguing over who would get to be the שליח ציבור. One day, the exchange of words got so heated that the men actually came to blows. Seeing this, רבי יוסי בר observed: "The תורה tells us in פרשת תולדות that עשו said יקרבו ימי אבל אבי ואהרגה את יעקב.
When השם created the world, he turned to the angels and said “I’m creating Israel as the land for my chosen people. It will be a land of milk and honey, full of opportunity, spiritual heights and material satisfaction.” “But,” the angels responded, “Don’t You think that You are being too good to them?” “No,”
A man and his wife are sitting inside, by the fire, when the radio announcer comes on: “We are expecting up to a foot of snow tonight, please make sure you are parked on the even-numbered side of the road.” The husband goes out and moves his car. The next day the same thing happens,
A Catholic, a Protestant, a Muslim and a Jew were sitting in a Starbucks. The Catholic said: "This is a great company. I'm going to buy it." The Protestant said: "I'm also planning to do a takeover. I've become so wealthy, I'm going to buy Facebook." The Muslim said: "I'm going to take my billions
If a man is alone in the forest and he makes a statement but no one is around to hear it, is he still wrong?
When the חברא קדישא asked a גביר for a donation to build a fence around the cemetery, he said that he would gladly help out but that there’s no point in doing so. “Why install a fence?” he said, “the dead can’t leave and the living are not interested in entering.”
Akiva made a killing in Manhattan real estate. He had never been to Israel and decided to fly there with his wife on their private jet. He asked his personal assistant to make the arrangements. She called the Tel Aviv Hilton and told them that Akiva and his wife would be coming and she needed
A רב sent a note to a colleague in another town, beginning the note with the letters ההה״ה. When asked to explain, he said "It could be read as הרב הגדול הגאון המפורסם, but I intended it as a reference to a פסוק in קוהלת which says: הבל הבלים הכל הבל."
A רב once entered a Reform temple and stared at the two lions standing beside the לוחות on top of the ארון קודש. "Why are you focused on those lions?" a man asked him. The רב responded: "Because these lions are the only ones here who uphold the עשרת הדברות."
One ערב שבת, a Jew known to be a boor and an עם-הארץ, entered the בית-מדרש of the בעל חות דעת dressed in Rabbinic attire. The רב commented: "When you think about it, he's appropriately dressed. The גמרא states:עם הארץ הלובש טלית של תלמיד חכם הריהי לו האוכף לחמור. And in another place the גמרא
