A wise man once said: “It’s written that תשעה קבין של שיחה נטלו נשים. But I think it was nine and a half.” When asked what his source was, he explained: “The חכמים said עשרה קבין שיחה ירדו לעולם. Nine were taken by women and the remaining one by כל העולם כולו. Now, since כל
A father was lecturing his bar mitzvah-age son on the advantages of thrift. “A fool and his money are soon parted,” he said, quoting the old adage. “I guess you’re right, Dad,” answered the boy. “But tell me how did the fool and his money ever get together in the first place?”
Bernard Gross made a fortune on the stock market. He had a great sense of timing, knowing when to buy and when to sell. Now, as he fell gravely ill, he told his granddaughter, “I’m afraid my time has come. I’m going to die.” His granddaughter said: “Don’t talk like that. You’ll live to a
A מגיד once explained why שהחיינו is said on יום כיפור night. "It's because of the Jews who come to shul once a year," he said. "When you see פנים חדשות once a year, it merits saying שהחיינו."
The Grand Rabbi of Bucharest said: “The division between man and woman is not as important as the multiplication.”
A רב went to a tailor to have a new suit made. “I must have it in a week,“ he said. “I have a wedding to go to.” The tailor assured him it would be ready. But the רב being skeptical, asked “Are you sure?” The tailor said “I give you my word.” When the
The little boy was told by his father to spend more time studying תורה, like his grandfather. "I don't have to," he responded. "Zaidy is studying for his final exam.”
A wealthy man was such a tightwad that he begrudged even himself a decent meal, subsisting on almost a starvation diet. One day, the רב approached him and told him that he is not acting properly. "השם blessed you with wealth," he said. "You must eat meat and drink wine every day." The חסידים were
A תלמיד asked his רבי: “The גמרא tells us that אסתר was ירקרקת and אחשורוש was מלך טיפש. How did they wind up with a son like כורש, who is referred to as משיח?” The רבי answered: “אין מיעוט אחרי מיעוט אלא לרבות.”
What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction? A matzochist.
